… it’s half past one in the morning, I was just about to crash after giggling at Beavis & Butthead on VH-1, and now all I can see and hear outside is fireworks. And I don’t mean small dinky fireworks, I mean serious howitzer-grade 300mm fireworks.

Now round here, fireworks being set off by anyone < 21 is de rigeur for about two months prior to November 5th — whether it’s dark outside or not — and I realise that most people will go to or do a big fireworks show/display on a Saturday night before Bonfire night, as it’s easier to get a few cans down your neck while launching explosives into the air without worrying about trooping into work the next day with a hangover and burnt eyebrows … but for christ’s sake, it’s half past one on a Sunday morning … go and be unconscious or something more productive than keeping me awake!