Ferchrissakes … “A woman who is worried her husband might leave her if she loses her looks has insured her face for £100,000.” I don’t know who’s the worst here — the wife for doing it, the husband for letting her do it, or the insurance company for taking the cash.

Nicole Jones, of Bristol, is paying £200 a year for the policy, which will pay out if she is no longer deemed to be attractive.

[…] In order to claim on the policy Mrs Jones will have to be declared unattractive by a panel of 10 builders – a test she said her husband appreciated, being a builder himself.

Planet. Gone. Mad.